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Beating Their Children…

Posted by keayo on Aug 27, 2009 in Naija |
Beating by way of Belt

"Idjut! Jesus Christ of Nazareth will weep for you today!"

Nigerian people act as if Child Protective Services (CPS) does not exist. Bad news, in America, it does. Kids these days don’t get the good ole beatings aka Detty (Dirty) Slaps like back in the day. These were accompanied by redundant sayings like, “Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about” and threats to be sent back to Nigeria. These beatings were much anticipated because most of them were a life threatening countdown to a beating…  “I will kill you if you are not here by the time I reach three …. Wán (One), two, three… c’mon now give me that belt”.  I say belt here but Nigerians are accustomed to getting beat by a list of other things from extension cords, switches and shoes to anything in arms length.  In fact, there were countless nights when mischievous children had the honor of fetching their own switch from the tree to enjoy a well deserved beating.

Some beatings are understandable like bad marks in school and misbehavior, but what about those times a child received heavy slap for not greeting a guy that comes over and eats all the food in the house, for handing elders something with the left hand (even though right hand was full of stuff to serve other elders), or chewing gum in church or while praying.

"You Stupid Child Of God! Why Are You CRYING?!?!?!"

"You Stupid Child Of God! Why Are You CRYING?!?!"

Don’t assume that beatings are restricted to just parents or guardians. Acting up in a classroom back in Nigeria is an invitation to get slashes embedded into your back in front of the whole class by your teacher.

Keep crying until you develop tears of blood, yelp and breath as you much want as if you have asthma, you can even play dead and pretend to be sleep but you’ll just be wasting your time. No dey search and try find sympathy, the thing no go get you anywhere with Naija parents, no say if person get body, person for just stand by for the beating wey you no go forget.

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The Law
Dec 1, 2009 at 4:21 am

All I can say is, if I hadn’t gotten some (ok, most) of those beatings, I’d probably be an armed robber by now…

Dec 1, 2009 at 8:41 am

Omo, my mum and sis….Haa
Cat and mouse game i tell you.
“If you miss, i start all over again”


Dec 3, 2009 at 11:43 pm

OMGzz!! Y’all are soo funny. I can’t believe this, Lord!! lols keep the website going and the posts man ’cause y’all really make my day. I was rolling on the ground and unable to control my laughter the last time I was reading the posts on here and I still can’t right now. Y’all are so hillarious -this is even better than Night of A Thousand Laughs (well, OK, close enough -gotta give props to those people too) but anyways, keep this site going with all your stories ’cause man, even if I wasn’t feeling good or I was mad at someone or something, these posts will definitely make me feel better. Naija 4 Lyfe!!!

Dec 26, 2009 at 3:37 am

All I can say is that Abu Ghraib stuff ain’t nuffin compared to what naija kids endure.

Oddie M
Mar 10, 2010 at 1:02 pm

My dad was talented in drawing and he studied fine arts but his greatest work of arts where the mosaic drawings he left on my brothers back after beating him…
I wonder how my brother survived all that..i swear i would have died..lmao..

and as for my mum….her stories are unending…i remember when she threatened to put pepper on my brothers body…like seriously how can anyone think of that????…u still gotta love them nigerian parents..

Mar 12, 2010 at 5:57 pm

My dad hardly touches anyone though he can talk to you in such a way that you ll beg for the famous detty slap instead )))…. he caught me riding the bicycle and seriously warned me not to touch it again because the pedal is spoilt and can severely wound me, he promised to slap out “kirikir stars” (tiny tiny stars) out of my eyes any day I get closer to that bicycle.. of course I said Ok dad……., the next day after he left for work I fell into temptation)))) he forgot something and came back just at the time I was bringing out the bicycle , the only thing I heard was “bia nwa, afurum na chineke nyere gi nti simply as a decoration” i.e (this child I can see that God gave you ears just for decoration) the statement was followed by serious GBOSAAAAAAA on my cheek ..the slap was really detty because I saw the kirikiri stars he had promised me
that slap sent me to early morning sleep…I woke up only around 5pm and was saying good morning to everyone, my siblings still make jest of me till date …. As in, kirikiri stars and good morning in the evenin lolllllllllllll

I cant remember disobeying my dad ever since lollllll

Mar 19, 2010 at 12:40 pm

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