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Posted by keayo on Nov 16, 2009 in Naija |

Written by Yagazie Emezi

You can relax on their backs.

You can relax on their backs.

A true Nigerian is not afraid of all those okada accident stories. Abeg, as far as I am concerned, they do not exist! The Infamous Nigerian Okada Transport System. If you tell your non-Nigerian friends that you used to get on a motocycle to move about, please be sure to describe what it looks like before they start thinking you were on a Harley.There is usually a cluster of them waiting at a junction. Here is a guide on how to pick your okada driver carefully:

1. Do not go for the ones calling you (for the girls). Don’t answer to,”Bebi!”, “Ay! Fine gal!” and the young ones who give what they are convinced is a charming smile.

2. Head for the quiet one (usually old) who is absentmindedly polishing the dullness of his machine. Be sure to ask how much first because they will cheeeeeat you! “Ha! Na 50 naira oh! I no say where you get 20 from!” And they will WAIT for you to go find the other 30. They just might walk into your house if you take too long. So haggle on a price my dear. Remember, this is Nigerian, you NEVER pay the asking price for anything!

It must be bring your kids to work day.

It must be bring your kids to work day.

Okada drivers know how to get EVERYWHERE! Just give them a number. If you have the same travel routine, that absentminded okada man will recognize you and will EXPECT you to walk up to him. An okada can fit many many people so share with your friends! There is no limit!

Now, not all okadas will just be sitting on the road for you. To hail down one you must stick out your hand and look the man dead in the eye. If it is early in the morning, just stand there and look miserable. Maintain eye contact. The okada is fast and sometimes the driver will think that he is in an action movie with his deep corner turns that leave you concerned about your safety. Just enjoy the wind in your face my friend! If it is raining, hide behind the driver because the raindrops will feel like constant and painful stings.

Okada TaxiSigns of a regular okada rider? A nice circular scar on your calf. For the ladies, be careful on getting on okada in a skirt ooooh! A panty shot will be the delight and talk among the drivers for an hour or more. Wait for the driver to tilt the machine and hike up your skirt.There is a certain facial expression that goes with the hiking of a skirt but that’s a different story.

If you have never been on one, remove yourself from house fast fast and find one. They will be waiting for you.

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Nov 16, 2009 at 8:06 pm

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This post was mentioned on Twitter by keayo: @nigerianpeoplelike Okada –

Nov 16, 2009 at 8:31 pm

You can drive from Lagos to Owerri and back with just a pocket full of change (American Currency)…..

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Nov 17, 2009 at 6:51 am

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Nov 17, 2009 at 7:47 am

Scariest rollercoaster ride I have been on in my life! These drivers feel they own the road and everyone will hault to them. As scary as it is, I will forever walk to the corner and listen to the words “eh na ga?” and jump on the back seat of one of these okada drivers (no homo).

Nov 19, 2009 at 7:09 pm

Mom, It sometimes scares me when u scream at your friend on the cellphone and then later say to her you’re not mad or getting angry, when clearly you are. I love how you like to talk trash behind ppl’s backs, and later when that person finds out, you sorta suck up to said person by saying you weren’t ‘spitting detty words’ behind her back, and then turn the whole conversation around as if you were confronting that person who called you in the first place. I also like how you easily contradict yourself, and argue w/ me thinking that ure right, (when ure really wrong) but you end the argument, with your own final judgment, which really makes me laugh. I find it amusing how obsessed with keeping the house clean, when really, the cleanest an old urban two story house can get is just how it is. And you still whine and yell and complain. Its annoying when we’re at the store I want to buy from, you won’t buy anything unless its under ten dollars(clearance rack) but when we get to Lord And Taylor, your willing to buy an outdated 400$ dress for me that you think I will use later on..You’re so nigerian. Lahv ya!

P.A. Reply:

I’m sorry but what this gotta do with Okada???

Dec 1, 2009 at 8:12 am

Oh Hail all okada loving mamas….
Like seriously. Good thing,never got those scars or burns (from the exhaust…YIKES)
It is exhilarating being on one of those…. Wind in your hair….
Death beckoning the crazy azz driver to his burnt up gaga-ish bed.
Those good ol’ days….

Dec 2, 2009 at 3:11 pm

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo @ everything

Dec 3, 2009 at 6:07 am

I’m sorry o, but this is not my portion in Jesus name. Call me ‘boti’ or warreva, but I won’t touch an Okada with a ten foot pole. I have two scars on my legs from Okadas that I wasn’t even on. I think that’s enough for me. I don’t plan to put my life in the hands of one ‘olodo’ who obviously has a death wish. Lol.

I’ll pass

Dec 10, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Haha. Next post should be about parties. Cause you know we celebrate everything owambe style

Mar 5, 2010 at 1:14 am

[…] wana Profesona na. Sanu Oga. Allah kehu. (GREAT WORK) ayo added these pithy words on May 30 09 …Okada | Stuff Nigerian People LikeWritten by Yagazie Emezi [caption id=attachment_268 align=alignright width=289 caption=You can relax […]

Oddie M
Mar 10, 2010 at 7:59 pm

hnmmm.. no matter what you lot say about okada, i think i’ll pass..
just seeing the 007 that these dudes do on the road, i don’t see myself getting on one…


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